Right Where We Are

Well hello January 6th.  I am suffering from a severe case of self loathing. I wanted to go swimming tonight to drown my sweat and sorrows in the depth of the lap pool, but somehow I couldn't even accomplish that.  Forgot my darn wallet 3/4 of the way to the pool that closed in a half hour.  It was worthless to return.  That's what the husband said.  And he was right.  He was also right when he discovered the second bike that I popped on the bike trainer. Sometimes I hate it when he's right. He said it was wound much too tight. A metaphor for the past few days, I suppose.

I started crying in front of Mrs. Roller today.  I stopped in after hour seven hour journey to Logan and back with all the kiddos for Aaron's cochlear appointment.  On Monday morning--the first day back to school after the Christmas break--I rode my bike and read my book and was pumped to get Aaron back into a routine and ready to go.  I walked in his bedroom and saw the look on his face and knew that my sweet Aaron wouldn't be going anywhere that day.  He's been battling dizzy spells and GI bugs for the past 48 hours.  And when sweet Mrs. Roller patted me on the back today I just couldn't hold in the frustrated tears.

The odd thing is, I think Aaron sort of enjoys these days (to some extent).  Of course he could pass on the sick part, but he gets to be home, playing trains, reading with the boys, doing homework with mom, sharing his opinions and needs freely, etc. etc.  Given the choice, I don't think he'd choose a dizzy day over a first day back to school after Christmas break.  I'm 99% sure he's not faking it.  But seriously, if he wakes up dizzy tomorrow morning I'm going to tell him we have to do some blood work at the hospital.  Then we'll see if that 1% chance my child is a prodigy actor wins out.

We were, after all, dancing in the kitchen tonight.  That was far and away my favorite part of the day.  Not the questions I don't know how to answer.  Not my foiled attempts to build a hot bod.  Not the gaseous goals floating around in my head.  Nope.  Most definitely my favorite moment was when Davey bopped around in his minion PJs, JJ pounded out the beat on my squishy tummy, Aaron rolled his eyes when I wiggled a little too wildly, and when the husband slid his fingers between mine and swayed his hips against mine and sang the words, "baby--we found love right where we are..."

Yes we did, January 6th. Yes. We did.