I am so excited to write to you this morning. I am always excited to write you, but there is something about this morning. There is something about this week. I am motivated; I'm so excited to be awake; and somehow I feel like I could solve all of the problems of the universe this morning...or at least in my universe. How? I am up before the kids. I had a great, quiet moment to pray, and think about the prayer, and when I read my scriptures, my mind flew wide open. Isn't that an amazing feeling? I love it, and I want it to last as long as it can, so I had to tell you. I feel like when I write something down, it sticks around for a little longer than it would otherwise.
SO, what's happening? How are you feeling? I have been thinking about you so much, and the boys and are sending you an awesome Christmas present today. I hope it makes it there in time. It should, but with all of the post office delays this time of year, who knows. But I sure hope it gets to you. I want you to know how much you are loved and remembered--especially this time of year. Our Christmas Card is with it too, and I think you will like it. We took the picture on an old rusty truck. So awesome. ;) I have never been away from home during Christmas, and I can't imagine how hard it is, and how much you must miss your family. I miss you so much, and love you so much, brother. You are an amazing boy--special, for sure. It was special to watch you grow up and to grow up with you. Do you remember when you were little, you used to curl up beside me, and rest your head on my tummy with your fingers in your mouth? We would nap like that. Isn't that sweet? You are the most naturally sweet, thoughtful boy I know. I hope you never forget that, or loose sight of how special you really are, JD.
My life is good. There is so much happening right now, it's crazy just trying to anticipate the changes coming up. Yes, the residency application process is confusing, it's an algorithm that decides our residency fate, not necessarily how well fit we are for a certain position. We put in our "rank list" and each program similarly ranks a list of applicants they interviewed, and the computer does the rest. But, I am excited. We have some great options. I would LOVE to have you help us move across the country. We will probably be doing it twice in the next two years, so there will be plenty of opportunities. ;) Thank you for offering...see what I mean about sweet?
I have some sweet boys in my home, too. Jdog is such a sweet boy. I think you will adore him. Grandpa always comments on how "sweet" he is. And, he is. J is now walking...wandering around, relocating things from one drawer of the house to a completely random place (drawer, box, toilet...what have you), but he busies himself happily, always returning to my leg to dig his little face in and hug me. I love that baby. Atrain loves him too. He and Jdog are a good pair. Atrain is growing so much. He is so smart. The other day when I was trying to be firm and discipline him, he said, "Mom, when you are done being angry, can you please put the ladder back?" (It was discipline concerning the bunk bed). I'm pretty sure my "firm" face wasn't exactly firm at that moment. But, I do my best. The boys are excited for Christmas, and I am excited for them. We have been reading a portion of the Christmas story most every night, and hanging it on the tree.
This Christmas will be great for our family. Good changes are coming. Good growth is happening. I feel a want to change, to become better. The past few weeks I have been thinking about repentance in a different light. We are commanded to repent, and often I thought of repenting as something "sad" or "hard" that I had to do. Yes, it can be hard to repent, but I am embracing it as something common...something I can do every day to get rid of my guilt. Guilt plagues me; it encumbers my perspective; it stunts my growth. And, when I feel guilty for something--anything, my first reaction lately has been to repent. Even if it's something as simple as loosing my temper with my kids. I repent, because there is no need to carry those little weights around with me, and Christ can help me change. What a gift: to change, to grow, to become a new person in Christ.
When I read my scriptures this morning I was reading in Jacob 2 and 3. I wrote these words in the margin: motherhood=confidence, example, repentance, firmness, tenderness, strictness, and faith. Every one of those words was in what I read this morning, describing the heart of a woman God loves. I want to have those qualities as a mother. They are so important. In Jacob 3:2, the scriptures reads, "O all ye that are pure in heart, lift up your heads and receive the pleasing word of God, and feast upon his love; for ye may, if you r minds are firm, forever. What a powerful scripture. I think I have found my motto for 2012.
I love you, JD! I look forward to hearing from you every week. Thank you for being such an awesome brother, and such an inspiration to me. Thank you for loving me.
Love,
MJ
wonderful thoughts Mel. Your motivation motivates me.
ReplyDelete