The Necessary No

I forget how much I miss writing until I actually sit down to catch up.  Everyone has their thing--that thing that makes them feel like staying up until four in the morning because they enjoy doing whatever it is so much they just can't make themselves go to sleep, right?  I guess this one is mine.  There's something calming about creating thoughts on a blank page.  It's like seeing time happen, or smuggling the best and the worst moments of the day into whatever tomorrow may bring.

I had a lot of worst moments today.  Atrain knows the rules.  And when he breaks them, he knows the consequences.  But, for some reason he still decides to make bad choices. I guess it's all part of learning.

Tonight I tried to make him put on his coat before leaving the house.  He said, "no, I don't want to."  I was insistent until the husband said, "Just let him freeze, he'll learn."  I responded with, "I don't like to let him learn."  True words.  It is hard to let him learn, and to know exactly when you should and shouldn't say "no."

Like when we were at the grocery store today--I let him get a car, but then he threw a large, long fit about it not being an expensive car.  So, I put the car back, and tried to walk as calmly as possible out of the store while Atrain convulsed and pulled my hair.  I buckled him in Jdog's car seat on the way home, just so that he didn't injure himself, me, or any other drivers on the way home.  Not a happy moment.  It is hard to say no.  But is is necessary, right?

Or what about the fib he told when we got home.  He lied.  Strait to my face.  And, he knew it.  But, he wouldn't let down his act--that he had really called Aunt Bill to ask if the Mster owned a certain car already. His story was that Bill said "yes, he already has that one," so he was convinced that he could open it.  The only problem was, his story was completely false, and he wasn't willing to admit it.  It took a spell in time out and the threat of not going to the food fest party to squeeze the real story out of him.  How do I tell him "no" when he just keeps telling me "yes."

And, (most importantly), how do I keep from laughing when he says, strait-faced, "mom, that is a lie," after I inform him that I can't find his socks?

I need a good book about discipline--creative discipline...positive discipline.  Atrain doesn't do well with negative reinforcement.  Nope.  Not at all.  I try to be prepared, because he thrives on positive feedback and reinforcement.  But, I need better ways (or at least a little more courage) when it comes to the necessary negative moments.  They just stink.  So, I stay up all night pondering my predicament, and how to be a better mommy.  I guess I'll just keep trying.  Any ideas would be lovely.