Dear June,

Welcome. It’s hard to believe that you are here already, but here you are. We are half way through the year. I am living in a sublet apartment in Texas as the husband invests two months of 2011 to bolster his residency applications. And then I wonder where residency will lead us. Temporarily setting up shop here has thrown my mind into imagination mode. I can’t stop looking at real estate websites and online house plans. I can’t stop pondering the possibilities for the future: our city, the kid’s schools, Atrain’s audiologist, the climate, the culture, our apartment, or even (gasp) maybe our house. Though that would rock my world harder than Elvis rocked Rock ‘n Roll, all that really matters is that we rock on together. Or something like that. Home is where the heart is.

Time to refocus. In just a few days I'll be returning to our apartment to spend the rest of your month with half of my heart. That’s right. I’ll be leaving the other half in Texas with the husband. But don’t worry; he’ll take good care of it. He always does. Besides, in an attempt to ignore the bleeding hold in my chest cavity, I’ve been making plans: swim lessons, family reunions, rock climbing, summer reading series with the boys, cousin sleep-overs, spiritual renewal, home improvement (de-clutter) projects, gardening, etc. etc. etc.

I’m excited about our plans—about being deliberate in the outcomes I want to achieve with the kiddos. I want us to be happy, to learn (which means occasionally being sad), to adventure, to find buried treasure, and to patiently await the day daddy will return when we will all celebrate at the theaters with Lightning McQueen, Finn McMissile and the rest of the Cars 2 gang. It won’t be perfect, but at least that’s what we’re shooting for. For now, I have seven days of you left with the husband. And we’re going to have a blast.

Sunday Drive

Today after church ended I told the husband that I wasn’t going to get out of the car until Atrain fell asleep. He said, “ok.” So, we drove around the city for hours with both our babies sleeping soundly in back. It was amazing.

We worked on the husband’s personal statement for upcoming applications. We admired the beautiful homes in the area. We fantasized about the next few years of our lives: where we will be, what a semi-stable residency program will feel like, and how much more in debt we will be when we get there. We talked about God, the future, how funny it was when Atrain said this morning, “I told you to turn the lights off,” and how sweet it is to hear Jdog giggle—especially when Uncle Esteban had him laughing this weekend.

I think the peace of our slow, meandering Sunday drive will sustain me through the tantrums this week. When I said to the husband, “We’re probably wasting gas,” he replied, “No. We’re buying our sanity.” He was right. He always is. I sure love that man. Wherever we will land in the next few years, one thing is for sure: there will be sweet, slow Sunday drives.