The Big Grocery Store

Atrain and I went to “the big grocery store” today (aka Walmart). It’s always an adventure at the big grocery store. We went to get supplies for Atrain’s bday party invitations, which would hopefully pin him down to a theme. For the past month he has requested a tractor party, then a snow tractor party, then a mater monster truck party, then a “blue” mater party. What does one do at a blue mater party anyway?

This is a big day for him. After all, he is convinced that he’s turning five. Every time I correct him, “don’t you think that three comes after two?,” he reassures me that he is going to be five on his birthday. I don’t care how old he thinks he’s turning, just as long as he thinks he’s taller. Then when he needs to go to the bathroom he can stop telling me that he’s “not tall enough.”

We pull into the big grocery store with both babes snoozing in the car. Soon enough Jdog wakes up. I feed him, change him, talk with him, and after about 45 minutes in the parking lot, decide that it’s time to wake up the 2 going on 5 year old. He rouses unwillingly, but we press on. A stop in Subway cheers him up. The kid loves ham, olive and mayo sandwiches. Then we search for the Valentines isle. I love that his bday is in February. Valentines make great, inexpensive and fun invitations. Finally I see the section of the store devoted to oversized teddy bears holding cheap chocolate. Darn. It’s dangerously close to the toy isles. Maybe Atrain won’t see. “Bulldozers!” He screams in excitement. Too late.

So there we are, marveling at everything with wheels. Atrain spots the “I-screamer” from monster truck mater. I laugh at how hilarious this toy is, and I find myself starting to get excited about the selection of re-creations from Atrain’s favorite short film. The “Frightening McMean” is awesome. Punching wheels, accurate sound effects, everything. This thing would look awesome on top of a birthday cake. $15. Yikes…a far cry from D.I. toy prices (our usual haunt). But Atrain is just enchanted. So am I. He wants to take them all home. So do I. I can only justify buying one…and it probably means rearranging bday gift plans. “We can only get one, honey…and we won’t get it today, you have to ask for it for your bday, and it will be a great surprise.” I see the trouble in his eyes, but he knows what “only one” means…we’ve endured that lesson before.

He leans to McMean, then checks out the Tormentor’s (mater’s) dreads, but settles on the I-screamer. “I’m gonna make you scream!” he says with a crinkled face, repeating a line from the short film that he and the husband watch every night. “We can’t put it in the cart now, momma and daddy have to get it later for a birthday surprise,” I say, wondering I’m confusing him about the true meaning of surprise. “Ok!” he says excitedly. He keeps one eye on the I-screamer monster truck as another boy enters the isle. “Don’t take my monster truck!” he tells him. When we turn the corner I tell him to choose a hot wheels car for being such a good boy. Then, when he’s distracted I sneak the I-screamer into the cart. I’m so excited, my pulse is rising.

We pull up to check out and I tell the workers waiting in front that I need a distraction and a sneaky cashier. I’m momentarily embarrassed by my statement, but I don’t care. I just can’t wait to get it for him. I’m envisioning it atop his birthday cake. We pay without a snare in my sneaky operation. We bought some valentines/bday party invitations. Atrain is happy with his hot wheels. I’m giddy when I think about the toy that’s hiding in my closet. Thank you big grocery store.