Small and Simple

Dear Elder I,

I hope you are well, brother. I had the strangest moment yesterday at our family’s heathen Superbowl party. Mom set up the love sac and some other seating in front of the couch. I was sitting on the couch nursing baby J and a large head moved right in my line of sight. “Sheesh, I wish JD would move his big head,” was the first thought that came into my mind. But, it was Dalliwag’s large noggin blocking my view, not yours. He recently grew a foot and cut his hair. When I told him that he was looking taller he said, “I hit my growth spurt,” with such a pleased tone. My littlest bro isn’t very little any longer.

So, big little bro, I’m glad you’re having more opportunities to share the gospel in your new area. Your experience about speaking from your heart during your sacrament meeting talk was so sweet. Thank you for sharing that with me. It is amazing to feel the spirit work within you to help you speak or do or understand more than you would have otherwise.

I might have missed the chance to do just that yesterday. As it was the first Sunday of the month, we had testimony meeting in our ward. Atrain kept telling me that it was my turn to go up to the microphone. I didn’t. The husband was home with sick little Jdog and it wasn’t hard to imagine what would happen if Atrain followed me up to the pulpit. It’s hard to focus on sharing what’s in your heart while the squirmy little boy in your arms keeps moving the microphone up and down. But maybe seeing the confidence of a sweet little boy is a testimony in and of itself of God’s love. I was also conflicted with the idea that I was sure to be a hypocrite that day, as I was planning to watch the Superbowl in just a few hours. Anyway, whatever the reason or excuse, I didn’t have the courage to get out of my seat when I felt the Holy Ghost stir within my heart yesterday.

If I would have born my testimony yesterday, maybe I would have said something about a scripture that was on my mind last week. Our bishop challenged our ward to read the entire New Testament by the end of March. I’m doing my best…listening to chapters throughout the day is my most effective approach. I hope that still counts. My mommy schedule doesn’t lend itself to a lot of uninterrupted, quiet study moments. Anyhow, listening to the gospels has been a sweet experience thus far. I notice things that I haven’t before. When I was listening to the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 6, I realized that the phrase, “thy Father who seeth in secret shall reward thee openly” is repeated three times. That phrase has been marinating deep in my heart ever since.

Most of my day happens in “secret.” Occasionally I’ll meet up with someone for a few hours here or there, but really, there really are no adult witnesses to the simple, yet important things I do all day long. Sometimes it’s hard to feel appreciated when no one really notices, or even knows what the heck I’m doing all day long. I know the husband appreciates me, but I still hate cleaning up his socks over and over again. It’s probably because I’m prideful.

As the phrase “thy Father who seeth in secret shall reward thee openly” repeats in my mind, I’m reminded that God notices. Not only does he notice, I know that He considers the well being of my little ones as the most important thing I could be doing all day long. Even if my day to day routine is not all that “notable,” I know that He sees, He knows, and He loves me and my family. That thought helps me keep going. It helps me keep planning with my children, preparing them for the future and fighting to find meaning in the mundane, every-day activities that add up to who we are. I know that by small and simple things, great things are brought to pass.

Oh my brother, I love you and am proud of all the great things that you are doing. Thanks for your example.

Love,

MJ