Shaving or Writing

I haven’t shaved my legs for a week…maybe more. Gross, I know, but I can’t seem to squish the time into my shower schedule. I get in, scrub down, check the baby on the floor, wash my hair (sometimes), and get out. Five minutes, tops. If the husband and I had a race to see who could get ready for church the fastest, I would definitely win—as long as he didn’t know we were racing.

This morning he was lounging in the tub while I did the morning routine with the kiddos. We woke up, played a game, vacuumed the ants up off the carpet (again), made breakfast, instituted a new potty training method, ate breakfast, read the BOM, wondered if all the ants were going to start crawling out of my vacuum, plugged in a true video, fed the jdog, then went to the bathroom to begin getting ready for church. The husband was in the tub and in my way (OK—maybe he wasn’t wrinkling in the tub the entire morning, but almost). So, I thought I would scare him away with my leg hairs. I flashed him my sexy, hairy calf and said, “If I had as much time to spend in the tub as you do, my legs would not look like this.”

The husband considered me for a moment without even showing a speckle of fear in his expression. He smiled (knowing that what he was about to say would send me reeling) and said, “You have enough time—you just choose to use it writing.” My eyes sharpened into daggers. “Hum…so, that’s what you think?” I replied as I stormed out of the bathroom.

Obviously he hasn't noticed when I sneak out of bed at night to type on my laptop. He may not notice a lot of things because his brain works much differently than mine. Hence, I thought I would translate my time into an equation that he can understand. Solve for X:

u[E(2d+b-y)+5s-x+pp-mD/9bf(g+rw)+3C]=24

E=exercise; S=schooling; B=breakfast; y=study; Bf=breast feeding; G=Groceries; C=cooking; R=reading (kids books); W=writing; U=unknown; H=shave; pp=diapering/potty training; M=mothering; D=disciplining; P=playtime

And there you have it. Shaving every day is impossible. So is writing. But I guess the husband is right on one account--I'd much rather be writing than shaving.