Scurvy Pirates

Today, we were pirates. Atrain was Gabriel, the pirate. I was Wendy, the pirate. Jdog was Captain Hook. And where was Peter Pan? He was in his secret school hide-out of course. Good thing too—we would have scared the scurvy likes of him right over the plank.

We wore striped shirts. Pirate Gabriel wore his backwards. We had sword fights with tennis rackets. We boarded our ship named Bob and sailed the seven seas. Upon our return to land the first mate refused to use the potty. I let him pee his pull-ups to his disgusting delight. Mr. Hook made us carry him around, bring him food and swab the decks. Then we changed his diaper and made him laugh. Oh it is good to hear the Cap'n laugh.

Our rowdy crew turned in for naps after scavenging the premises for edible goods. When we awoke, we were ready for an adventure. We bundled our britches and set out into the wind to find buried treasure. Pirate Gabriel was a scary sight. At some point he turned his pants around to match his backwards shirt. He nearly asked me to zip his coat up backwards, but opted out because the hood impaired his vision. Apparently pirates can only tolerate one covered eye.

The wind whipped through our hair as we pillaged toward the playground. It was deserted, so we forced a few neighbors to join our foray. Once a good group of boys had gathered, the beautiful chaos began. With sticks in hand they chased, they crept, they climbed and they dug. Captain Hook had fallen asleep in the Bjorn and before I knew what was happening, Pirate Gabriel’s shoes were drowning in the deep, icy swing-set puddle. He was poking at the floating snow chunks with his sword as he dangled his body over the swing. I yelled his way to tell him not to get too wet, but the damage was already done. He was now splashing, and having the time of his life. “Aarrggg,” I said, and I watched as his backwards pants soaked up the cold, muddy water. After all, what would a pirate day be without a little mud.