Missionary Monday

Hello Elder I,

Well, it's been another week. Crazy. I'm so glad you got our Easter package. And, yes--Atrain is always concerned about his missionary uncle. It's so sweet to hear his little thoughts. We have been studying the resurrection a lot at our home the past couple of weeks in his little picture scriptures. At first I was a little hesitant to actually explain what was happening in each image. Telling a three year old that some people made a really bad choices and killed the Savior of the world is a hard thing to do. But when we came to that section he carefully studied the pictures and asked questions. A sweet spirit filled the room, and I started to cry when he asked, "What's that Momma?" As he pointed to the nails in Jesus' hands and wrists. And, "Whats that called?" as he examined the crown of thorns on his head. "It's pokey?" He asked over and over again as he looked at the picture. Tears came down my face as I calmly told him about it all. Then, we turned the page to see the Angels standing over the empty sepulcher. I told him that Christ came back to life, that he was the first one to ever have a resurrected (perfect) body he died, and that He was able to live again with His Father in Heaven, just as we will be able to do some day. "Jesus died," he repeated, then said, "And then he came back to life!" "Yes!" I said, "And so will everyone everywhere." He paused for about a minute and I sat there quietly with Jdog on my lap. I could tell he was thinking hard about this concept. Then he said, "Just like Hobbes [uncle Leaf's dog] died, and will come back to life." My heart broke a little. "Yep, Atrain. We can live with Him again, just like we can life with our family again if we make good choices and keep our promises to God," I said.

I'll never forget that sweet little conversation. Moments where Atrain is not being silly or playing or pretending are rare these days. But he calmly, inquisitively soaked it all in. I know the Holy Ghost was there with us that night, and that He felt it too. It was an amazing mothering moment; a calm between the storms that reminded me what this parenting thing is all about. I wasn't planning on baring my testimony to him that night. I was actually feeling quite rushed to send them off to bed as both the boys were extremely tired that evening. But, we just followed the same scripture routine we always to, and I'm so glad I listened to the Spirit remind me to take it slow and let Him inspire both our hearts about the truth that our Redeemer lives.

In other news from our family, the husband leaves for the great state of Texas this Saturday. I'm trying to be tough, but I'm actually quite scared. I'm scared to be without him. I'm scared of going a little bit crazy without him there to steady me. There is a little part of me that wants to look at the whole thing like a big adventure, but that little part of me needs a lot of help. I know it will teach me to appreciate my marriage much more than I do--not just for the relief that comes at the end of the day when the husband is home, but the feeling of finally with the one that I love, and hearing him play with the little ones that I love while I finish up dinner. I love that time of day. I will miss that so much when the husband is gone. I will miss Him so much. But, it's a sacrifice we are all making for our future. It will mean a lot on his residency applications coming up in the fall. We will be fine. Plus, Atrain couldn't be more excited to go on the plane to Texas in a few weeks to visit daddy at MD Anderson.

I'll leave you with a sweet Atrain story I wrote on my blog last week about my little "earning boy." I love moments when I'm reminded why my role is so important, and that something we're doing every day is actually working. I hope that you know that your role is so important. I hope you know how much I think about you, about how brave you are to approach people you don't even know and spill your heart out to them, perhaps just to get shot down and turned away. I need to be more brave, especially with the people that I know, to share my testimony and love of the gospel of Jesus Christ. If I really believe that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is true, I should not be afraid to share it.

Sure love you, brother. Thanks for inspiring me to be a little more brave.

Love,

MJ

PS, Here's the story: The Earning Boy