The boys and I attended the cello recital of my incredible nephew, Shmibbers, tonight. If cello lessons were like fantasy football, he would be Mr. Vick. But Shmibbers is more amazing than Mr. Vick. He played twenty three different songs from memory, amidst paper crinkles, kiddo wiggles and sibling squabbles. And then he bowed--twenty three times, per the request of his cello instructor.
It was amazing to witness. And, had I not been in the audience trying tone down and tune out the distractions, I would have been altogether overwhelmed by how perfect it all seemed. But, I know that helping your kid learn multiple mini songs must not be all about counting and tuning and training. I'm sure there is a lot of distracting and whining and celebrating the small steps forward that goes along with it. Famous and Pance Farmstrong are a dedicated pair who constantly, carefully survey the needs their kiddos and pair them with activities to enhance their abilities. And then they let them shine. I adore their family and feel so lucky to be a part of their lives.
I would be lying, however, if I didn't admit that I have a difficult time resisting the urge to compare. Even though I know it's stupid and selfish, it is tempting to feel like I need to "perform" as a mother. I must push past the pernicious plea to participate in the parenting puppet show. It's my job to know and love my children, build them up with a strong set of tools, and carefully cut their strings, letting their conscience be their guide. It is so much easier said than done. I hope to have the courage it takes to let my little ones become "real boys."
ONCE upon a time, in a land not so far away, there was a queen. She lived a lovely life in her cottage sized castle with her husband and their three sons: Atrain the brave-heart; Jdog the jolly; and Doodle, the daring baby. The queen had a good heart, and she loved her boys with every piece of it. Every day in Frandsenland she works and plays and does her very best NOT to be evil. Sometimes she succeeds. This is her diary.
You are perfectly parenting the pair you have. I often have to step away from the puppet show, reassess, and move forward rather than getting sucked in. Reassessing... always reassessing... something you and I can be a little too good at!!
ReplyDeleteI love going through parenting with you, Mel. And I have complete confidence that you will always be a deliberately watchful mother. You will know... you always do.