Keep on Plugging

I feel somewhat stuck in a rut. Gray clouds are gathering overhead, challenging my perspective. Maybe it's a post-vacation hang over. Or maybe it's because I'm having an incredibly hard time conjuring up a bit of quiet, reflective, reading time of my own. It could be that Atrain has developed a silly/snappy/stubborn alter-ego I've deemed his 'Darth' side that requires me to endlessly nag and remind him about good and bad choices and their coinciding consequences before he obeys (and after he disobeys). And I don't have the patience of a Jedi knight.

It's hard when I don't feel like myself, and when I don't like the self I seem to be. I've crumbled to my knees a lot lately--especially when I remember that I forgot again to say my prayers--seeking inspiration and more peace of mind. That's hard too; turning to God to ask for help when I don't quite feel up to par. It's kind of like going to a cousin's baptism with my son who stained the seat of his pants on a slide doused in Gatorade. We go on anyway. I pray on anyway. God came to Earth to mend the brokenhearted and strengthen the weary. He can also help me relocate the bit of myself that I somehow misplaced.