Sleep Over

My mind is like mush. It often feels this way after I put the kids to bed. Today was not the greatest day. I didn’t get anything done that I wanted to do. Instead, I spent my time making up for my mistakes. I left Baby J’s port-a-crib (the handy, portable bed that has been his bed by my bed) at my mother’s house yesterday, so the bulk of my time was spent putting together the real crib. And, for some odd reason I decided to put it up in Atrain’s room.

The experiment needed to happen at some point. I’m just not sure if now was a good time for it. My state of being is not exactly stately right now. The weight of worrying for the kids alone is wearing on me. I know that the husband worries about them, but in the day to day ‘to dos’ it means a lot to have someone else’s voice chime-in to harmonize with mind. It’s not that I am incapable of reminding Atrain to put his pajamas on twenty times in a row. It’s just that when the number of requests I’ve issued exceeds the number of fingers on my hand, my confidence begins to crack. I wonder if the words coming out of my mouth make any sense. I wonder why I’m even speaking at all. And I wonder why—when given the express choice—Atrain prefers “time out” over dressing himself. Othingnay akesmay ensesay.

Until, that is, I hear my boys giggling and blowing raspberries at each other as they “try” to go to sleep in the same room. For some reason, those sounds bring me back home. I’m laughing as I listen to them live it up after hours, even though I know that I’ll have to go in there soon enough to break up the party. I already went in there once to remind Atrain that he needs to stay in his bed. He tried to convince me that his new bed on the rocking chair counted; too bad that it doesn’t. I’m sure that I’ll hear Atrain trying to join his brother in the bed we ‘built’ today. I can’t even think about how angry he will be when I tell him he can’t. Even with a mushy mind, it’s easy to understand how much they love each other.

So, maybe I’ll just join the slumber party. I’m sure that my presence will greatly increase the chances of the Sandman joining in the fun too. Who cares about the hallway full of homeless odds and ends that became displaced when the crib moved in. Never mind the sink full of stinky dishes. I’m not even going to try to catch up on the blog. I’m going to have a sleep over.