Immunizations

Today Jdog had his two month check up and immunizations. Oh how I hate betraying my children in the doctor’s office. Baby J was so happy and proud as he laid down on the scale with his clothes off as the nurses marveled at my nearly 15 lb. baby. He cooed at the doctor as he was examined. He smiled at me when I put his clothes halfway on—leaving his rolly poley legs exposed. Atrain knew what was coming. He clambered up on the table and said in his sweet voice, “Don’t worry, I’ll hold your hand baby J.” Then the nurse came over and stabbed him with the needles. Jdog’s scream grew louder and more bewildered with each of the three shots.

It makes my heart sink when there is no way to explain my children that I’m doing what’s best for them, when I have to cause them a little pain now to strengthen them for whatever they may encounter later. But that's my job. It’s painful in ways I never predicted—especially when I had to let the anesthesiologist pry my child from my arms while I stood there helpless, listening to him cry my name all the way to the cochlear implant operating room. There were moments when I thought I would never forgive myself for that. But now Atrain can hear his little brother crying after his immunizations. He can tell him calmly and clearly, “It’s ok baby J, you will be ok…do you want momma to feed you?”

Sometimes parenting stinks, discipline stinks: the responsibility to cause my children pain now in order to prepare them for later. I couldn’t do it without hope and faith that God also knows and loves my children and will help me raise them to be the good, strong individuals they can be. I couldn’t do it if I didn’t know that he also knows and loves me. I’m a little stronger than I was last time…at least with Jdog's first immunizations I didn’t cry, leaving the nurses to deal with two sobbing babies. That was a little embarrassing.