Some days it’s hard to shake off a little monster that hangs around my neck. I’m not talking about Atrain or Jdog. I love those little monsters. They can strangle me as much as they please. The monster that I loathe doesn’t have a name, but selfishness, guilt or impatience would fit her nicely. Whenever she’s around it’s hard to look in the mirror without seeing the extra postpartum 10 lbs I still have to loose. It’s hard to sneak shower in without feeling like I’m neglecting my kids. When I’m picking up after the boys (again) she makes me yearn to do things that are more important or appreciated, then she scolds me for having such heathen thoughts. The worst thing about her is that she wants me to believe that she’s the best I can do: that she’s my only honest critique, the only one who sees me for what I really am—that she is me.
But she isn’t. I can do better than that—especially when she’s keeping me from doing and enjoying the things I love. Time for some girl power music.
I need to lose 10 pounds, but have nothing noble to blame the weight on but myself...
ReplyDeleteAmy says I shouldn't have said that.
ReplyDeleteThe girl power music yay! Oh Mel don't ever forget how amazing, beautiful, and talented you are. Of course it is normal to have these thoughts. Especially postpartum. In high school when I would have self loathing thoughts my mom always told me to look in the mirror every day and say I am beautiful and I am smart. Maybe you need to try this :). love ya.
ReplyDeleteNice to know I'm not the only one with one of those monsters. Your girl power cd's are classic. I'm pretty sure I still have one... Maybe I should bust it out!
ReplyDelete